Grab your blender. Is it plugged in?
Good. We're starting strong.
Add the liquid first – the almond milk. This helps everything else blend without straining your motor.
Your blender will thank you later.
Pile in the spinach and the soft ingredients: Greek yogurt, avocado, and the banana.
Top it off with the frozen berries and chia seeds. The frozen fruit is key – it replaces the need for ice, which just waters everything down.
Secure the lid tightly. IMO, this is the most critical step unless you want abstract art on your kitchen walls.
Blend on high for 45-60 seconds.
Stop and scrape down the sides if needed. You're looking for a thick, creamy, uniformly purple consistency.
Pour into a glass, try not to drink it all in one go, and congratulate yourself on adulting correctly.